Coffee Location: My Livingroom
Today’s Beverage of Choice: Iced Venti Quad Espresso
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I cancelled my cable.
Yes you heard me. This television enthusiast (kind way of saying -addict) has cancelled her cable.
Okay, let me take a few steps back.
When the Lenten season came around this year, I decided to participate in a way I had not for many years- by following the tradition of sacrificing something – in my case something very decadent and superfluous in my life-Unnecessary television.
Now of course, I had a whole formula for what “unnecessary television” looked like. It was so complicated that a friend of mine who was also trying to follow my prescribed plan would call me to ask if he was still on track because it was so complicated. But for me, the main goal was to NOT turn the television on for background noise or company. You know, another mindless Law & Order episode that I already knew the ending to upon watching the first 10 minutes.
I was successful for the 40 days of Lent. And then I found myself going right back to watching reruns of Friends.
Until last weekend when I was hit by a brick. Or it certainly felt like a brick reeling right at my head. In a weekend retreat, a trusted colleague called me on my “busy-ness” – my constant multi-tasking—my spinning like a tennis shoe in a dryer. Behaviors I have been fighting with for many years and have found remarkable success at times. But I also know it is my “go to” avoidance behavior when I am in a HUGE UPLEVEL as I am right now in my life and business.
So the question asked (which came as an enormous brick at my head) was “Bryn, what are you avoiding that you would begin to feel if you just got quiet?”
TERROR hit me.
My stomach flipped.
My eyes filled with tears.
And I realized that in all this visceral reaction to the question, I did not know the answer. Hmmmm…. What am I avoiding?
Only one way to find out.
So in a bold move, I canceled my cable service (temporarily?)
I have met so many people recently who have no cable and only watch television on the Internet. Honestly, I was a Nielsen household for 2 straight years recently so I felt it was my obligation as a citizen to watch tv! (ha) And, I secretly judged those people without a television as either crazy or just not interested in pop culture. But that was never going to me. Guess what- for the last couple of days, that has been me.
Television is not the only thing I do to stay “busy” but it is definitely something that keeps me conveniently distracted from knitting, reading one of my many books with an espresso, sitting quietly, listening to music I love, taking a walk, working in my business, connecting with others and maybe most importantly, connecting with my Higher Power.
I will keep you posted on what I find as I adjust to my quiet time. Would love thoughts from anyone who has tried this experiment in their life in some way- just to get quiet.
Break with Bryn" phone call.
Hey Bryn,
When I was a chef at one point, mid-30′s maybe, my boss gave me a VCR for my birthday–yes it was along time ago. Sadly, I had no TV to use it with though it was appreciated. I told a guy friend who worked in advertising that I had no TV and what he said never left me. “You are out of touch with the culture of your time, you are missing out on ways of communicating with people”, said the wise one. I believed him and bought a TV. Since as a chef I worked mostly nights I did my best to get in the cultural phenom at the time, whatever shows were popular and on late.
Years later I found myself with “a lineup.” But apart from when I was a kid, I have never been that dedicated to a tellie sort of lifestyle. I love House, Fringe, Downton Abbey, and the odd Tosh2.0. But my books, my thoughts, my writing and the calls I get to make to friends far outweigh my television jones.
Looking forward to hearing what comes up for you at this precious time on your journey.
That is exactly how I feel- I would be missing out on the fabulous female character development on my favorite shows and the pop culture info. Plus the news.. what about the news. But I have met so many people with no television. Really bright, intellectually curious people with no television who read or watch their info on the internet. So I am a bit intrigued. I feel like I may be more deliberate with what TV shows I watch on the internet. In fact, I am certain I will be. Interestingly, it is very hard to watch a tv show on the computer and work on the computer as well so the multi-taskign craziness gets cut down too… stay tuned my friend and THANK YOU for sharing this piece of you with me!
Hi Bryn,
Great article and very true! An important topic for everyone to ask themselves – what is the idea of all this “busyness” really doing for you? Can’t wait to hear more about your journey!
Randi
I am curious too, Randi. Not sure what it is all about and I have been asked before- but this time I have a feeling I may just get to the bottom of it!
Oh wow – great post – I do the Law & Order and friends filler. I say I do it to rest my overworking brain… but I shall seriously rethink this avoidance technique. Thanks!!
Oh and those two shows are just the start. Add in just about any sitcom or crime drama- but no more. So far. today I am just listening to the birds outside.
Great post Bryn. I can relate to filling my time with unnecessary things to avoid doing the necessary.
Hi Alicia… isn’t it so true? Sometimes I have the cleanest counters ever… but a proposal still left unwritten. That is why we keep moving forward. Great to hear from you!
I’m so with you Bryn – was actually thinking about this the other day re: “hmmm, what if we gave up TV for the summer?” Like you I turn to things like TV to unplug/unwind/avoid at times…
well Tina- I will support you in this. I am still watching some shows on streaming and Hulu but the constant noise isn’t there- and then mindless shows are not there… I can tune out much less… day 7
So much to watch, so little to watch and no time to watch. I’m liking the quiet where I am and an occasional movie, when I want to laugh or cry, or just add some drama to my life (LOL). Twice a month, max. I think we can all agree with you, that a busy brain needs rest, however you see fit.
yes- a movie when you want. not a movie on in the background for hours. our busy brains need rest….
Hey Bryn–You cut the cord! Good for you. I did it last year and have been very happy with a limited number of hours per week of dedicated “TV” time. I really watch a few things I select via my bluray player and Netflix + also PBS.org. It’s purposeful and it’s enough. Tom@valiant-ny.com did it a couple years ago and got some media as part of a new trend. $$$avings on the cable bill is significant, and the peace and quiet in the home? Priceless. (And a marked reduction in commercials blatting away at my face? Beyond priceless!) Good luck with the quiet. Enjoy!
Clancy
Clancy- you have been my inspiration so many times in my life… and this is just another of those areas! $$ savings is great but the quiet in the home is amazing to me. I remember making the move to live on my own 4 years ago and was so grateful for the quiet and then over time filled it with what I knew for 20 years… noise from tv. Interesting to look at for me… XOXO
Great post Bryn. I appreciate your self awareness and honesty in sharing. We distract ourselves from good too… Not always the shadow side of ourselves. Shine on!
“We distract ourselves from good too… not always the shadow side of ourselves- Shine on!” That is so incredibly true. Sometimes it is all so hard to take in and I just have to stop the fear of it all really happening from taking over… enter TV… haha… no more! XOXO
What is a “huge uplevel”? I thought it was something good at first but if you use the tv to avoid it, is it a bad thing? I am leaning into doing what you are doing. I got tired of adding books to my booklist and never deleting any. So I have cut waaaay back on tv and only watch about 6 shows regularly every week. It’s really freeing. I’m almost at the point of canceling my cable too bc I pretty much only TiVo Oprah’s shows now and watch the rest online in the hotel. But instead of replacing tv watching w book reading, I’ve replaced it w games of Draw Something and Scrabble and WWF that take up far too much of my time. So I’m now weaning myself off of these iPhone games and am starting to read more. Just started a new book I got last week at the library. And it feels soooo good to be reading again. I feel like my old self. Tv can be like food to me- addictive and emotionally numbing. So I too am trying to see what it’s like to just be still and connect w my own mind, body, and heart and actually feel something more than I do. Good luck, BJ!
Loving the experiment! I went years without a television or a computer (yes it’s been a while LOL) and it was extremely beneficial! I still seldom watch television. I don’t feel out of touch at all. Best of luck with this!!
Janice…. the last of my chances to use the cable disappeared today… they had it turned back on to switch over my bundled package and I had it back again for a few weeks… and I was right back in it. If you hear the crying of loneliness all the way down south, you will know who it is tonight
Bryn,
I find this so interesting! I do believe there are only a few shows I really want to watch… Bil Maher… News… and of course Yankees. I do also love to relax sometimes with a good flik. I can’t imagine not having tv, but I try to watch only when I really want to, not just for filler, or boredom.
Bravo to you for this bold step, and I look forward to hearing more.
Susan
I definitely need to be more deliberate about what I watch and this will certainly do the trick, Susan. No Cable. Just me and this beautiful monitor… until I hook up netflix or something… that is coming next but I am forcing myself to just “be” for now. Not easy- you know me!
Hi Bryn
I think TV is a time suck. I watch about 2 hours of tv a week, or less and I don’t miss it. I work, I exercise, i read and listen to books on tape and lots of public radio. I don’t know what Oprah is doing and was very late in finding out about the Kardashians–no loss! I hear about every important news story, but rarely see them. I turned it on to see the Royal wedding and will watch the Olympics. When my parents visit and put on the tv, I think I am a much happier person not seeing the gore and violence that passes for news today. Also, I am more content not seeing all the incredibly beautiful stars’ perfect bodies and their homes and riches. Also, my kids are not exposed to everybody hopping in and out of bed with each other and treating all the men like they are stupid, as is common on most sitcoms.
The violence and ugliness of children’s shows shocks me (Have you seen Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends?), and with cable, Family Guy and Two and a Half Men come on at 5 pm! So inappropriate! So we try to keep viewing to an absolute minimum. Discovery channel, National Geographic, icarly, etc. There is basically nothing else I can watch with my younger kids w/o cringing, so we do other things.
(Note: I am no angel. I watch The Big Bang Theory, Community, and (gasp!) Family Guy with my sixteen year old–he needs to have SOME pop culture, but he is nearly grown now, and we talk about stuff and are cool with it.)
One suggestion I have, as a personal trainer, is that you watch a fave show while running or biking. Then at least you are not wasting time. As a yoga teacher, I say EMBRACE THE SILENCE and YOUR ANSWERS WILL COME! Good luck and God Bless!
Dawn
adoring you Dawn… adoring what you said. I need to embrace the silence that’s for sure… waiting on the answers and they will not come if there are L&O or Big Bang Theory reruns on… that I know for sure! Love the way you raise your beautiful children. Thank you for sharing that insight with us all.
Bryn,
so glad you joined the club! My husband and I canceled our cable subscription two months ago and have never been happier! The result is that we now we watch TV only when we REALLY want to and we end up watching it together more often. We get our news through the internet (which I already did, especially for my Italian newspapers), really good shows are recommended to us by friends and we get them via Netflik or Hulu and we spend a lot more time reading and cultivating our hobbies. Brava!