The Lessons of Groundhog Day 2013

When I reference Groundhog Day, I can’t help but think of that hysterical 1993 movie starring Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell. If you have never seen it (although I would question where you’ve been!), Bill Murray’s character experiences the same Groundhog Day over and over again. Each time the day starts again, he adjusts based on what he knows will happen so he can get it “just right”.

This movie has me reflecting on two lessons I have learned over the years that look a lot like this Bill Murray’s character’s experience:

• My days of living the Groundhog Day life in my career and business are over. I learned early on in corporate to save everything- every file, every document and every email trail- because invariably the senior leadership team would reposition an old project or initiative as a brand new, enterprise-wide opportunity in which I could be put in charge. Common practice was to pull out those saved files, relabel them and start over again. It got so bad in 2002 that I bought my entire team a copy of the movie! (VHS of course) Today as an entrepreneur everything is new -every day. No reusing ideas for me. It is all fresh and exciting. No more slapping another name or spin on an initiative and calling it new! Phew– However, I am free to reuse those fabulous corporate ideas at my corporate clients all day long!
• The Universe will continue to put similar people, situations and opportunities in my path until I learn the lesson I am here to learn. And it is often equal parts frustrating and hysterical.  Like the movie Groundhog Day, I just keep coming back to the scenario over and over again, adjusted a bit each time, until I make the major shift. The most recent lessons have been painful and tear-filled but the “other side” is looks like days of endless rainbows compared to the ways I was living tied to those toxic people, places and things.

Where is that happening in your life?

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25 Days of December: A Weekend of Preparation

This weekend feels so strange… not really the weekend before Christmas but I am definitely feeling the pressure of heading into the week before Christmas. Because let’s be realistic; there will not be a lot of people working next Monday. It is basically an upcoming 4-day weekend with the celebration of Christmas. In fact, each time I look at the calendar, I think, “gosh it is almost Christmas!” It is coming so quickly!

Have you been feeling this, too?

Therefore, this was a weekend of preparation. That is how I spent my holiday celebration time of which I have been blogging for the past 2 weeks.

Day 14: Friday: Made plans for Christmas Eve. Wanted to be certain I had a plan. I will be staying in the city this year and not returning to Rochester to my family’s so for me it was important to have a plan. Which church service was I attending, what volunteer work would I be doing, where would I celebrate with friends before church? All the details got worked out. Plan in place.

Day 15: Saturday: A beautiful day in NYC. Warmish for this time of year and a day that I had set aside entirely for fun. No work. Just “me time”. That “me time” included the most relaxing walk through NOHO and SOHO- looking in store windows with all holiday items displayed in the window. So much creativity and happiness everywhere. Plus, the walk was with my best friend who I had not seen since before the Hurricane due to all kinds of obstacles so this was just a wonderful, leisurely holiday celebration.

Day 16: Sunday: Since I decided not to send all my hundreds of holiday cards this year, I wanted to make a mini-plan for holiday greetings and beyond. Sitting quietly with a cup of coffee, I wrote a mini-list of family members who deserved a holiday greeting from me- regardless of the fact that my work life is so uber-busy that I determined that I would not be sending out cards.  I decided that family members would be the exception.  I then made a list of friends and clients who I wanted to be certain to celebrate. That list will be tackled after the New Year with a deliberate sit-down in a coffee shop to write individual notes to each one. I would rather sent a heart-felt note to wish them a Happy New Year than a generic holiday greeting just to get it in under the wire of December 31. Hopefully, they will all feel the same!

Now, we head into the week before Christmas. Wow.

Be Merry and Bright!

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25 Days of December: A Week of Holiday Story to Tell

Bad Blogger.

Probably getting coal in my stocking.

One full, exciting and life-changing week in my business equals ZERO blogging.

But believe me, I was still out there looking for those holiday moments. But even those were a stretch. Therefore, vowing to get back in the groove for this last 12 days of my 25. And I will catch you up now on the past week’s activities.

Maybe it will spark an idea in your brain regarding how to bring a little holiday cheer into your life:

Day 7: I was working all day so I played Christmas music on Spotify all day. Singing along. Laughing at some of the funny old songs and really loving the instrumentals. What is your favorite holiday album? One of my top choices is Jewel’s 1999: Joy- A Holiday Collection

Day 8: It was a Saturday so I headed to Bayridge Brooklyn to meet a friend for a movie and lunch. Met him on the corner with all the Christmas trees and wreaths because why WOULDN’T I stand in that amazing fragrance while I waited?  Then after lunch we walked around the neighborhood as it started to get dark and looked at the decorations and the lights. Fun day.

Day 9: Spent the day getting my “life” and home together in preparation for my first day on Wall Street with my new client. Conclusion. Those holiday cards are simply not going to send themselves. I have basically already missed Hanukkah’s window.  The cards are going back into storage. Feels a little disappointing but terribly sane.

Day 10: Monday. First day at the new client site on Wall Street. Ummm… can we say Hanukkah extravaganza with delicious looking jelly donuts and black/white cookies on a big table right near my office? I partook a little tiny bit…I mean, it is Hanukkah and I was the new girl so….

Day 11: Coming down with a cold. Headed to that new client’s holiday party anyway. Planning to stay through the entertainment and head out at dessert (like any good wedding escape plan- works here as well) and then, I got stuck on the subway for 45 minutes.  So that took care of that. Just went home.

Day 12: Received my first Holiday cards complete with beautiful family pictures from my dear friend Ellen (and a pic of my adorable Goddaughter Emily) and one of my longest-standing friends (not oldest- we are NOT old) from Brownies and her beautiful family from their new home in Texas. Joy.

Day 13: That was yesterday. Made plans for next week to not work compulsively and instead head to mid-town to see the Rockefeller Tree and some of the windows. If I don’t make the plan, it just won’t happen.

Okay- this “bad blogger” is back on track! Happy Holiday Cheer! 

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25 Days of December: Day 5 and 6: It’s All in the Planning

In my quest to enjoy the holiday season one day at a time from December 1 through December 25 (and who knows- maybe this will continue straight through New Years Day), day 5 and 6 were all about planning. Planning forward.

• The holiday cards came out and now scream at me from across the room
• The decorations were found (they were secretly tucked away in this one-bedroom Manhattan apartment and required a “if you were a Christmas decoration where would you be hiding?” moment)
• Since I have not joined a church since moving to Washington Heights, I needed to scope out options for Christmas Eve
• RSVPed to several holiday get-togethers
• Changed my Facebook cover photo to include the Rockefeller Plaza Tree and the gorgeous angels (my favorite)

So while I would have liked it better if I was VISITING the Rockefeller tree as my holiday activity to blog about, I will say that there are some wonderful plans in motion for the remainder of the month thanks to my planning.

What have you got planned?

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25 Days of December: Day 2 Quiet Moments Jazz Concert

I took a chance on a concert this evening called Quiet Moments at Middle Collegiate Church sponsored by a multi-cultural, multi-faith global initiative I volunteer with called Intersections. One of my favorite things about the holidays is music- from all cultures and all spiritual practices. This expression of the season makes me so happy.

Tonight, I was delighted by Fred Johnson and his featured artists on percussion and piano. Quiet Callings is a joyous contemplative presentation of both composed and improvised selections of music gleaned from Quiet Callings (a collection of mediations received and authored by Fred Johnson in 2009) and The Great American Songbook. I met Fred after the performance and he is as warm and delightful as he is talented.

The only word I would use is WOW.

The added bonus is that they performed a few of my favorite Christmas songs like The Little Drummer Boy. Magical.

So happy I headed all the way downtown to make this my day 2 holiday celebration event.

Here’s a taste of this trio!

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Weekend Coffee Thoughts: Modern-Day Rip Van Winkle? (vulnerability day 9)

Coffee Location:  My sofa watching the NY Giants on SNF
Today’s Beverage of Choice: Coffee and chocolate protein shake

 

 

 

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Have I Been a Modern-Day Rip Van Winkle?

Have I been sleeping?
Sleeping though part of my life?

I feel like Rip Van Winkle. I loved that little story from my childhood.
My mother would tell me that when there was scary thunder that I did not need to worry because it was just Rip Van Winkle bowling.
However, recently I actually read the story again after all these years and learned that Rip is described in many of the versions by creator Washington Irving as a “henpecked husband who loathes ‘profitable labor’ “.

Now that is really taking the comparison of Rip and me a bit too far.  I am neither a henpecked husband nor a person who loathes profitable labor… but walking around constantly exhausted from living in indecision and not working or living as my very best self certainly makes life and business less profitable. So, looking a little like a modern-day Rip Van Winkle.

On Sunday, November 12 it changed. I woke up and came down that figurative mountain as Rip did in the story and basically declared,  “I CHOOSE ME!” Made the decision.Immediately slowed down the wondering, worrying and spinning!

• I choose me.
• I choose to see my life as it really is, not a warped version of how I wish it to be.
• I choose to forge ahead as the best self I can be today.

This new decision has had an immediate impact on my business model, my relationships and my home. 

In future blog posts, I will talk about this in more detail (all a part of my 40 day vulnerability challenge).
However, for tonight I just wanted to pose these questions…

• Where in your life are you “sleeping”?
• Where are you looking at life in fantasy rather than reality?
• Where are you acting like a modern-day Rip Van Winkle?

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Weekend Coffee Thoughts: An Experiment in Quiet

Coffee Location:  My Livingroom

Today’s Beverage of Choice: Iced Venti Quad Espresso

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I cancelled my cable.

Yes you heard me. This television enthusiast (kind way of saying -addict) has cancelled her cable.

Okay, let me take a few steps back.

When the Lenten season came around this year, I decided to participate in a way I had not for many years- by following the tradition of sacrificing something – in my case something very decadent and superfluous in my life-Unnecessary television.

Now of course, I had a whole formula for what “unnecessary television” looked like. It was so complicated that a friend of mine who was also trying to follow my prescribed plan would call me to ask if he was still on track because it was so complicated. But for me, the main goal was to NOT turn the television on for background noise or company. You know, another mindless Law & Order episode that I already knew the ending to upon watching the first 10 minutes.

I was successful for the 40 days of Lent. And then I found myself going right back to watching reruns of Friends.

Until last weekend when I was hit by a brick. Or it certainly felt like a brick reeling right at my head. In a weekend retreat, a trusted colleague called me on my “busy-ness” – my constant multi-tasking—my spinning like a tennis shoe in a dryer.  Behaviors I have been fighting with for many years and have found remarkable success at times. But I also know it is my “go to” avoidance behavior when I am in a HUGE UPLEVEL as I am right now in my life and business.

So the question asked (which came as an enormous brick at my head) was “Bryn, what are you avoiding that you would begin to feel if you just got quiet?”

TERROR hit me.

My stomach flipped.

My eyes filled with tears.

And I realized that in all this visceral reaction to the question, I did not know the answer. Hmmmm…. What am I avoiding?

Only one way to find out.

So in a bold move, I canceled my cable service (temporarily?)

I have met so many people recently who have no cable and only watch television on the Internet. Honestly, I was a Nielsen household for 2 straight years recently so I felt it was my obligation as a citizen to watch tv! (ha) And, I secretly judged those people without a television as either crazy or just not interested in pop culture. But that was never going to me.  Guess what- for the last couple of days, that has been me.

Television is not the only thing I do to stay “busy” but it is definitely something that keeps me conveniently distracted from knitting, reading one of my many books with an espresso, sitting quietly, listening to music I love, taking a walk, working in my business, connecting with others and maybe most importantly, connecting with my Higher Power.

I will keep you posted on what I find as I adjust to my quiet time. Would love thoughts from anyone who has tried this experiment in their life in some way- just to get quiet.

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Weekend Coffee Thoughts: Muppet Movie Sing-A-Long

Coffee Location:  My Livingroom

Today’s Beverage of Choice: Starbucks Venti Americano

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Muppet Movie Sing-A-Long

On Saturday, I went to a Muppet Movie Sing-A-Long.

Really!

As a celebration of Jim Henson on the last weekend of the exhibition of his work at the Museum of Moving Image here in NYC, his daughter, Heather Henson led a fun interactive screening of The Muppet Movie (1979).

There we were. A theater filled with hundreds of children and adults acting like children- complete with goodie bags filled with props.  Balloons, tiaras, glow sticks, noisemakers, feathers and so many other fun surprises for just that right moment in the movie.

Most of us had a favorite Muppet t-shirt, hat or memorabilia with us. Here’s a picture of me and my new Kermit backpack.

Just a room filled with laughter and childlike wonderment for two hours.

It didn’t matter I was still healing from my horrible cold.

I still laughed out loud at the jokes that I clearly now understand are adult jokes (who knew?!) and cried like I always do as I sang “Rainbow Connection”! Just a magical afternoon of stepping outside of my busy life of responsibility to feel like I was 12 again!

When was the last time you let go like this?

It really boosts my creativity- how about yours?

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Weekend Coffee Thoughts: Coffee and Optimism

Coffee Location:  My Starbucks in NYC

Today’s Beverage of Choice: Starbucks Grande Americano

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Coffee and Optimism.

Doesn’t get any better for me!

This week several beloved people from my Facebook community shared this video with me- stating that it reminded them of me. So first of all I would like to say how much I love people taking the time out of their busy day to share fun things and secondly, how touched I am that this video reminded people of me. Truly touched.

This little girl is infectious. She emulates that message I want to put out in the world each and every day.

• You can be whatever and whomever you want to be.
• You can love every little aspect of your life.
• You can find utter joy in the simplest things.
• You can do something that could be perceived as silly or embarrassing and in turn, shine your light on the world.
• You are your best cheerleader.
• Take nothing for granted.

“I can do anything good… yeah yeah yeah yeah… I can do anything good– better than anyone…”

Click this link to watch the 32 second video!

Optimism is contagious. Spread a little today.

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Weekend Coffee Thoughts: Decisions!

Coffee Location:  Sitting by my Christmas tree

Today’s Beverage of Choice: Starbucks Via in my favorite blue/brown mug

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Even in indecision, I am making a decision.

Learned that first-hand this week.

Truth be told, I have learned this lesson over and over again in my life, but this was the week when it all clicked in a whole new way. The evolution of my emotional and spiritual self-colliding right into the long list of things I want for my life and business.

Like so many of you, I have made list upon list of what I want for my life. Opportunities, relationships, $$, happiness, friends, health goals and the list goes on and on. I have been filling journals and post-it notes with lists in various forms for decades.

However, over the past few months I’ve been challenged by some dear friends to create a few new lists about different aspects of my life. And this time to be VERY specific. More specific then I ever thought necessary. The kind of specific that at times felt a little ridiculous. But I did it. I did it because to be honest, my way had not been working for me. What did I have to lose?

Making these VERY specific lists- one about life and one about business- forced me to make a decision on some level. Do I want this or that? Is this particular characteristic of my business a non-negotiable? Each extremely specific item on the list was a decision.

And then I did the seemingly impossible next step. I let go of the results and the timing. Yes, you heard me. I let go of the results and the timing. Gave it up to the Universe and God.  Of course, I took my will back many times over those few weeks of letting go. Wanting so much to control the outcome- and then realizing that I really can’t. That is madness. Honestly, I have lived for years saying I don’t control the outcome but secretly thinking that maybe I did. (can you relate?)

All those years of not being specific.

All those lists of things I wanted without really committing to them with specificity.

I was living in a form of indecision. And that was a choice. That indecision was a decision. Quite profound to me actually.

Now I am actively letting go.

The result? Already in only a week of this daily (sometimes hourly) practice, I am seeing little miracles.  I am being provided even MORE than I asked for. Not always in the same “package” as I had envisioned but exactly what I wanted and then some.

I just had to share in case it can help you as you reflect on 2011 and begin setting your goals for 2012.

Happy New Year!

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