Choose Joy

This time of year is filled with it. Can you feel it all around?

It is palatable in the air… Nope, “it” is not happiness or hopefulness. “It” is not positive attitude or determination.

It is fear. Fear and regret.

Oh it is veiled in the smile and happy announcement of someone’s New Year’s resolutions. Or it is buried beneath the announcement of “2012 will be the best year ever!”

But I can hear it. It is not that I am looking for fear and regret. It is not that I wish it on anyone. Maybe I am like a dog that can hear sounds no one else can hear- but I cannot deny I hear it as the underlying message this time of year especially. Heck, I have done it a time or two myself.

• Belaboring on what did not get done the year before
• Focusing on what you don’t have and how you will get it this year
• Looking around at what everyone else is doing
• Devising the elaborate plan (that you are not even sure you can pull off) to meet that goal- a goal built on fear and regret

I am sure you can see how this just sets you up for feeling like you are already behind the 8-ball and that you better dance faster and faster until you spin out of control…

Okay, wait- maybe I am just talking to myself. Have you already figured this out?

This year, I want things to feel different. Definition of insanity, right? Keep doing the same things over and over expecting different results. Time for Bryn to shake things up.

Time to STOP THE INSANITY!

My New Year really begins this week, not last week with the 1^st of the year. Yesterday was my birthday. Today is my company anniversary. Great week for celebration. Great week to leave fear and regret in the dust.

In fact, I will let you in on a little secret…

About 2 weeks ago, I made the decision to CHOOSE JOY. Always. In every scenario.

Joy. Find joy in every encounter. See joy in every interaction. Discover joy in each opportunity.

I have always been a positive person but this shift is about CHOOSING joy. Choosing to see it, find it and create it…rather than falling back into fear. And wow everything has shifted so quickly. I am still building the “choose joy muscle” but for me it is all in taking the action and waiting to see what joy will fill my heart. Could it really be that simple?

Could I really build an entire business starting from JOY?

Could I really have all the things I want in life, love and business by choosing JOY?

Well I really believe that I can…in fact, it is happening right now!

And as a member of my community, you will have a front row seat to the transformation. As with everything else I do, I will be completely transparent with this part of my journey…to inspire, help, encourage and challenge you and others. We are going to have so much fun CHOOSING JOY!

Join me?

Weekend Coffee Thoughts: Good Riddance!

New Year’s Day.

A magical day full of possibility.

A time to “take stock” of life.

A bridge of incredible transition.

This transition has been underway all year- as I have been growing, building and changing. In fact, haven’t we all been working toward this all year? Now it is our chance to leave all that we did not achieve, did not finish and did not start- BEHIND US- No Regrets!

The New Year’s Day preparation formally began for me on December 28- Good Riddance Day! My fabulous NYC entrepreneurial friend, Carolyn Herfurth discovered this event and off we went with our bags of symbolic things in our life to which we were ready to say “good riddance”! Tossing those token items away brought me lots of laughter, quite a bit of cheering and a few bittersweet tears.

But it is not all about clearing things from my life. It is also all about hope. Hope for the future. Hope for 2012. And that’s where the Wishing Wall came in. I just LOVE this concept and plan to make it a part of my New Year’s transition ritual every year!

When the ball dropped in Times Square and the confetti fluttered down, one of those orange pieces of confetti had my wish for 2012 on it! Magical!

Now when I wake up in the morning, the New Year is underway. My list of dreams and goals written out and kept close by because I need to constantly review and be inspired.

What about you? Are you ready? Have you completed your New Year’s rituals?

Thank you for being such an amazing part of my community!

Wishing you joy- pure joy- in the most unexpected ways in 2012.

 

 

Expansive, Vulnerable and Specific

It is that time of year when we all create goals and resolutions.

Starting fresh in the New Year with all the promise and hope of a clean slate.

For me, I abandoned making resolutions 16 years ago.

As many of you know, I believe whole-heartedly in the power of starting the day over again. At any point.  So resolutions have always set me up for failure because, well, you can probably imagine that I ALWAYS broke them early on in the year and then cast them aside or talked myself out of wanting the result.

Goals are different. Goals for me are about incremental change with the possibility for remarkable surprises. They are about looking to the future and putting the mini-plan in place to support each of those goals. Looking for opportunities to move closer to the goal in giant leaps facilitated by those incremental plans.

In my world, there are three absolutes for goals.

• They span all parts of my life: personal and professional. EXPAND!
• They are BIG dreams! They are scary and vulnerable! I utter the secrets that have been carried around inside me.
• They are specific. Through specificity comes the magic!

Have you taken the time to write down your 2012 goals?

Honestly. Do you have the goals written down? Are they in a place where you can see them each and every day? Living with my goals has become a tremendous inspiration to me.  They are hanging on bright pink oversized post-it notes right over my desk

Now look at the annual goals.

• Do they span multiple areas of your personal and professional life?
• Are they big? Are they audacious? Do they make you think, “After I stand in disbelief, if this really comes to fruition I will be dancing/crying/high-fiving in my living room?”
• Are they very specific? Not sure- then my guess is that they are not. Specificity allows you to feel the relief of knowing if you are moving forward. Specificity allows the magic in between your actions to happen. Specificity gives you a litmus test as you whether a particular decision moves you closer or further away from that goal.

Take some much deserved time to dream and plan for 2012 during this holiday season. Happy New Year!

Weekend Coffee Thoughts: Decisions!

Coffee Location:  Sitting by my Christmas tree

Today’s Beverage of Choice: Starbucks Via in my favorite blue/brown mug

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Even in indecision, I am making a decision.

Learned that first-hand this week.

Truth be told, I have learned this lesson over and over again in my life, but this was the week when it all clicked in a whole new way. The evolution of my emotional and spiritual self-colliding right into the long list of things I want for my life and business.

Like so many of you, I have made list upon list of what I want for my life. Opportunities, relationships, $$, happiness, friends, health goals and the list goes on and on. I have been filling journals and post-it notes with lists in various forms for decades.

However, over the past few months I’ve been challenged by some dear friends to create a few new lists about different aspects of my life. And this time to be VERY specific. More specific then I ever thought necessary. The kind of specific that at times felt a little ridiculous. But I did it. I did it because to be honest, my way had not been working for me. What did I have to lose?

Making these VERY specific lists- one about life and one about business- forced me to make a decision on some level. Do I want this or that? Is this particular characteristic of my business a non-negotiable? Each extremely specific item on the list was a decision.

And then I did the seemingly impossible next step. I let go of the results and the timing. Yes, you heard me. I let go of the results and the timing. Gave it up to the Universe and God.  Of course, I took my will back many times over those few weeks of letting go. Wanting so much to control the outcome- and then realizing that I really can’t. That is madness. Honestly, I have lived for years saying I don’t control the outcome but secretly thinking that maybe I did. (can you relate?)

All those years of not being specific.

All those lists of things I wanted without really committing to them with specificity.

I was living in a form of indecision. And that was a choice. That indecision was a decision. Quite profound to me actually.

Now I am actively letting go.

The result? Already in only a week of this daily (sometimes hourly) practice, I am seeing little miracles.  I am being provided even MORE than I asked for. Not always in the same “package” as I had envisioned but exactly what I wanted and then some.

I just had to share in case it can help you as you reflect on 2011 and begin setting your goals for 2012.

Happy New Year!

Holiday-Themed Connections and Networking-Easy and Fun!

For those of you who have ever spent more than an hour with me in your lifetime, you know  two of my passions are Christmas and Connecting. The joy I receive from the twinkling lights, snow, beautiful childhood songs pumping through the streets (or my apartment), and gorgeously wrapped gifts I have realized is so similar to the thrill I feel when I meet someone and find a connection-even the smallest little thing. You are a Wellesley woman? You can’t go a day without coffee either? You used to live in my neighborhood-Don’t you love Morningside Heights? You have cats you adore also? You are from Upstate NY-no way?! And the list goes on!

During this holiday season, there is so much encouragement to spread hope and good cheer. I encourage that wholeheartedly myself. However, for many the holiday season also comes with a tremendous amount of pressure-both in terms of time and financial expectations. It causes such a challenge because it is also the perfect time to be connecting and spreading  cheer to people you will want to build deeper relationships with in 2012 and beyond.

You can see where the conflict comes in!

You might think, “Bryn, it is difficult enough to finish all the holiday shopping, attend all (or at least some) of the parties, and finish decorating. I have no time or energy left to connect with MORE people.”

No worries! Below I have offered a few ideas to help you leverage both your limited hours in the day and your over-tapped bank account during this celebratory season.

My brainstorming session on this topic began with several assumptions:

1. You need rich and prosperous connections to build your business, career, associations at large or volunteer activities in 2012.
2. At this moment, you estimate you have less than 2 hours to focus on this connection activity before January 1st.
3. It better not cost a fortune because you are “all in” this holiday season!

Strategy, it all begins with Strategy! Not the kind that requires a business plan (but gosh, if you have that business plan handy, you may want to pull it out and take a look at the goals that were not quite fulfilled this year or perhaps the goals you have in mind for 2012).

What I am suggesting here is to do the following 10 minute exercise: Clear your mind. Put yourself in a quiet spot where there is little chance of interruption for 10 minutes. Grab a piece of paper and a pen and take the following steps:

- Reflect on 2011-big moments of elation, tough challenges, and lessons learned then write the 4 people’s names that come to mind in reaction to that 2011 reflection.

- Think about what the first few months of 2012 will look like for your life, career, business, etc. and write down the first 4 names that pop in your head in association with that image of next year.

- Write the 2 people that nag at you in the back of your mind. They seem to always be on your “to do” list. Maybe you promised you would call/write/lunch but never did. Maybe you met the person and thought, “I really want to spend more time with this person and now it just seems embarrassing how much time has elapsed.”

THERE-you have 10 names! That wasn’t hard was it? Any repeats? You can consolidate the list of course and now you have less than 10. But no more than 10 here please. You do not get extra “connection points” for making a long list that will be too long to tackle and ultimately end in defeat.

Beside each of those names, write the action you plan to take to reconnect. Remember, we want to keep this simple but also stand out in the crowd.

Even with dear friends or former colleagues who might be waiting to hear from you, at this time of year being a bit original will only help you to make the quality connection for which you are aiming. Therefore, I would personally suggest you stay away from emails and ecards. Inboxes are flooded this time of year with offers, end of year issues, and those very same emails and ecards I am suggesting you avoid.

Let’s think creatively here-but still adhere to the last two principles of this exercise: not time consuming or expensive. Here are a few suggestions of mine. Hopefully, they will prompt a few of your own that are specifically linked to your community, your business or area of the world.

Make a minimal donation in their name. Do you know they have a certain passion, charity, or do a tremendous amount of volunteer work at a certain organization? The organization will be thrilled with any $10 or $15 donation they receive and you can often request a card or an acknowledgement email to be sent to the person you are honoring with the donation. I love when people have done this for me-rather than bringing me a small gift I may not need or food I do not eat. You get the picture. Very personal and all about them and their interests. When I have been a recipient in the past, I feel so “heard.”

Send a New Year’s Card. Really. These work brilliantly. First of all, they are nondenominational (Happy Holidays or blank cards work great for this). Plus, the holidays are winding down. You have time to write the card and it will be received when their mailbox has been cleared of holiday cards, catalogs and gifts. The card should include three components: A wish for Happy New Year-a line about the connection you have made in the past (great volunteering with you at that event-who knew we had so much in common)-and a line about the connection you hope to make in the new year (I will give you a call later in January when things have calmed down and we can schedule a time for lunch). Be certain that whatever you add here is reasonable for you. This is your chance to offer next steps that will be followed through with and it is up to you and only you to make that happen. So do not over-promise.

Create a Social Media Call-out. For those of you who love social media like I do, this will be a fun and effective way to connect-but only if two factors exist. 1. You love love love social media (because this connection activity should not be a chore) 2. The person you are targeting ALSO loves social media (maybe you even met them there!) Here are a few ideas:

Twitter: Create a tweet that talks about them. Use their handle of course. Talk about a special offering they have (providing them with a little publicity) Talk about the impact they have made in your life/business. And then-tweet it at least three times over the course of a few days so it will get more exposure.

Facebook: Dedicate your status to them with the same premise as Twitter. Write about their impact, the special project they are working on, their website, the contributions they made to the community, etc.

LinkedIn: You can dedicate your status here also-and even link it to your twitter account with the new LinkedIn function if you choose to keep it under 140 characters. Also, LinkedIn is a great place to show your appreciation with an unsolicited recommendation! It does not have to be lengthy. Maybe a paragraph or two but the impact will last throughout the year.

Have fun connecting and reconnecting with these people. Taking action on less than 10 people before the beginning of the year (10 minutes on each one is all!) and reap the benefits throughout all of 2012. I am now off to do this exercise myself. Happy Holidays to you and your loved ones!

Standing on a Cliff

Everything is changing.

I am on the edge. The edge of that beautiful cliff at sunset.  Do I stand here and watch the sunset until the opportunities fade into the horizon or do I free-fall? Trusting I will be caught. I will be cared for.

Free-falling is the answer.

That is how it feels. Beautiful sunset surrounding me. There is so much more faith than fear but wow… this is uncharted territory. I do not ever remember being suspended in life this way before.

Over the next few months watch for some big announcements. Changes in business. Changes in life. Changes in perspective. Changes in team, collaborators and partners. Nothing is safe from change in my life right now apparently.

But why play it “safe”?

I could have stayed in Corporate for that!

Am I Losing My Mind?

• Did you ever wake up and think, “What I am I forgetting?” “There is something that I am supposed to be doing today but I cannot for the life of me remember what it is. Darn.” That nagging feeling that will drive you crazy all day.
• Did you ever think that there is a decision you need to make to move your life or business forward, but you just can’t tap into it?
• There is something really obvious you are forgetting that lies just below the surface but you cannot seem to access it?I have definitely had that feeling. Many times in my life in fact. Usually at times of big transition. But the joke is, I do not know I am in a big transition. I just feel like I am losing my mind.Here are some signs that you might be in this position too. You think to yourself (but don’t dare say aloud):
  • What am I missing?
  • Am I losing my mind?
  • I don’t feel like me.
  • Why am I so exhausted no matter how much I sleep?
  • I am starving. What is going on?
  • I am completely distracted all the time.
  • There is a technology “black cloud” above me.
  • I keep forgetting important tasks or appointments.
  • I wish I knew why I feel so strange.
  • Why is this so hard?

  … that’s the question that gets me every time…Why is this so hard? When I ask that question I get the little whisper in my ear that something is shifting. “Bryn, pay attention.”

  These thoughts precede a big transition or breakthrough each and every time like clockwork.

  However, you guessed it! When I am “in it,” I can’t see it at all. But what I do see and feel is that I am unsettled.

  So I focus on a few exercises that really help bring me closer to the decision that needs to be made-bring me closer to the clarity I need to move forward.

  To read about my exercises click here.

  Do It Myself Method: I take out a clean piece of paper and make a list of all the things I do in life and business that make me lose track of time. Activities that never feel like a burden. That make me feel alive. That bring me a sense of calm or peace. A list of activities that make me feel accomplished, strong, smart, or empowered. Or maybe it is just one aspect of an activity that just comes so easy and feels so fun! This is critical information.

  Here’s a sample of my list: Stationary stores, writing handwritten notes, walking around NYC without an agenda, singing country music completely uninhibited, organizing things and thoughts, office supplies, watching my cats (“the boys”) do just about anything, creating calendars/plans and really talking with someone-deep, focused conversation.

  Bring It to the Universe: I often take the list of things I love to the Universe. Or sometimes I bring the questions like-“Why am I so tired?” “Why is this so hard?” This does not need to be a religious or spiritual activity. It is for me but I know people who simply put themselves in the right peaceful environment to hear their own thoughts. The goal here is really to quiet your mind- the frustration and questioning-and wait for answers. They come. Where you believe they are coming from is so not important here. The critical step is to make the spinning and exhaustive worry stop.

  I take a walk in Central Park or sit in my big overstuffed bedroom chair and look at the Cathedral in my backyard. All the media is off in my house. I allow myself to fall asleep if that is what I need to do. Sometimes I set this intention before bed and ask for clarity when I am sleeping.

  Take It to My Tribe: Ask them. I ask that trusted small group of friends, colleagues, and supporters. Caution: This is not intended to be what I call a “polling activity”-running to everyone I know or sending out a mass email for feedback. I am at a critical decision point. I am on the edge of something fabulous-a remarkable shift. I’ll let a handful of people-my tribe-provide insights. What can they see in me that I just cannot see? I’m just too close! I describe what I’ve been feeling and experiencing-exhaustion, frustration, the nagging feeling that there is something I’m not seeing.

  Ask them directly: What is the big gap in my understanding? What can’t I see? What don’t I want to see? What is so obvious to everyone but me? Where is my brilliance? What talents or gifts do I not tap into? Where do I seem afraid? In what ways do I delight friends/clients/colleagues and not see the pattern? You get the idea.

  Ask for brutal honesty. Be vulnerable. (Maybe you can see now why polling is not such a good idea…) Breathe. In my experience, this is the most remarkable exchange of love. Regardless of whether I use one of these exercises or all three-the answers come because they were always here. Everything I need is already here. I just cannot see it until I am ready to see it. Ha. So silly. But true. It is a process of discovery. Layer upon layer. My life today-so extraordinarily different than it was just a year ago-even a few months ago-is an outcome of this process. I am so grateful and the clarity just keeps coming.

  I wish this for you as well.

Weekend Coffee Thoughts: One Week Challenge!

Coffee Location: Sitting on my living room floor

Today’s Beverage of Choice: Grande Americano from Starbucks with one pump of sugar-free vanilla

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I am issuing a challenge. To myself.

You have heard it here first.

Every night this week, I will quiet down for one hour without my computer.

I know. I know. How hard is that?

Why the big announcement?

Well, for me it is not as easy as it sounds.

True confession: Most evenings this darn computer is on until I go to bed. Sometimes I am working. Sometimes I am watching television and playing around on the internet. Sometimes I am talking to you on Facebook or Twitter. But you can be sure that I am NOT losing myself in a great story, flipping through a magazine, knitting, diving into one of my beloved business books or writing in my journal after thinking about a spiritual passage I just read. I am not slowing down.

Over the next week, I will slow down every evening for one hour before bed.

It is one of my necessary next steps if I want to launch my business forward. I can feel it! My brain needs time to switch gears and slow down. Wish me luck and watch for updates!

Perhaps more importantly, does this sound familiar? Want to join me?

Random Thoughts from Inside a Bouncy RV

I love my clients!

Let me say it again-I love my clients!

These business owners just astound me. Full of surprises. Full of ideas. They are idea-generating machines. In fact, I would never have put “idea generator” on my list of qualities of an ideal client, but I am seeing this common thread emerge.

• They have more ideas than they can handle on any given day.
• They are so passionate about the specialized, focused offerings they bring to the world.
• Their enthusiasm is infectious.
• They have hearts as “big as all outdoors” as my Gram would have proclaimed.
• They often willingly have multiple business models germinating at the same time-they can’t help themselves.

Like I said, originally these characteristics did not show up in all the “target market/ideal client” work I did when starting this phase of my business. It has been a natural attraction of business owners for me, most likely because I can easily take complicated-often overwhelming-business issues and make them simple. Break them down into tasks and plans to be executed before you lose your mind. How’s that for marketing copy-”keep you from losing your mind!” So these brilliant business owners, with their complex businesses, have a place to think through their ideas and create an action strategy. This is my brilliance.

However, along the way, as it is with any amazing partnership, these men and women are teaching me too. They are illuminating for me how this high-impact, idea generation they all seem to practice really works best. So many of them get out of their own way. Yup-that’s the big secret. They get out of their own way. They shake it up. They try something new. They take a huge risk. They push the envelope.

In the past few months:

• Two of them spent weeks in Italy-one to build her business and contacts (honestly her business requires it-how fabulous!), the other to take some much needed R&R after sending her youngest off to college .

• One is traveling all over the U.S. in an RV and I get adorable emails entitled, “random thoughts from inside a bouncy RV.” While she travels, the press opportunities pour in for the business she is not even wrapping her brain around because she has moved on to another.

• One is plowing through all her millions of speaking gigs and programs for her clients as set up for a remarkable December in Hawaii.

• One goes to her ski/lake house and comes back with reams of writing and a new, bold business idea EVERY time. A business idea she promptly implements, doesn’t just talk about. I always brace myself for her return-smile.

• One was recently filmed on a national television show (to be aired soon) as the makeover guest. Oh yes, in her spare time, she hung in the green room rubbing elbows with celebrities as they “glammed” her up and sent her strutting down the runway.

And this is only a sampling. These business owners inspire me and encourage me to do more, be more and take that NECESSARY time off for idea generation. Put this in the category of gratitude. Like I said, these qualities did not originally show up on the “ideal client” list, but these business owners ARE ideal. Another example that we get what we need when we need it!

What is surprisingly obvious and delightful in your life or business?

Weekend Coffee Thoughts: My Favorite Day of the Year!

Coffee Location:  My favorite chair in the living room between the bookshelves and the window

Today’s Beverage of Choice:  Blue mug of hot coffee with a little cinnamon

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 This is my absolute favorite day of the year!

The first snow!

Magical.

As so many grumble about the fact that it is only October and it is not only snowing but also STICKING, I dance on the sidewalks of NYC.

Amazing how things can change on a dime. This week was an emotional roller coaster. Marching through fear into new realizations. Making really challenging and unpopular decisions to take care of myself. And my reward for stepping into it rather than sidestepping around it? SNOW!

Snow makes me feel beautiful and free. I can’t stop smiling and skipping around. Generally this attitude is either really infectious to be around or whole-heartedly annoying because I just love this day so much. The texts, emails and phone calls started coming in as soon as it began to fall because there are so many that see snow and think “Bryn”. I treasure that!

Aches and pains- gone. Concerns of yesterday- gone.  Mesmerizing as I watch it settle on the trees outside.

The cats are curled up and peaceful. That is the thing. In this moment, everything is at peace. That is what snow does for me. Like the Grace of God blanketing the neighborhood.

I know it will be gone tomorrow and we will go back to lovely fall weather and more hoops to jump through. But right now in this moment with my mug of hot coffee, all is just glorious!